Imagine being a doctor.

Imagine being the one to save someones life. To be thought of as a miracle worker. The know all.

Imagine being the one whose job it is to deliver the news.
The good. The bad. The ugly. The real ugly. The surprise. The "I knew it" news. The-oh my gosh life changing news.
Again, imagine being a doctor.

Imagine being the one who ruined someones life with news. The one who didn't start someone on that medication. The one who didn't have a new medical plan or options for someone. The one who told someone when they would die, that they will die and how they will die.

Imagine delivering this news:
You have AIDS.
It WAS a heart attack.
You're labs don't look right. Please come in and meet with me.
The x-ray shows a mass.
It's cancer.
You have diabetes.
You're life is going to change.
You need to change your life.
I can't help you anymore.
You need to see a different/other doctor.
Your son/daughter has a rare disorder that is not well researched.
Your mother has dementia. She needs to go to a nursing home if you can't be there 24 hours a day.
The medication is not working.
We need to do another round of chemo. You will never run again.
This is a new drug, we can't guarantee this is going to work.
It's not what I thought.
I haven't seen this happen before.
I have no explanation.
Your insurance doesn't cover the treatment.
You need dialysis.
You can't leave the hospital yet.

People get this type of news every day. People SIT through hearing this news about their life. They have to take it all in and react the way that is natural for them. Some cry, scream, become speechless. Many get angry and bitter. Some refuse to understand or believe it. Others assume they will die tomorrow. Some are so anxious they become belligerent. Many of these patients will remember this doctor, blame him/her and remember these words the doctor told them for the rest of their life. Word for word.

Besides the expectation of bobbling people's health and lives in their hands, they also have to have the correct social skills to please each patient.
It's hard to share the news: to be the one to give the news, to be the one to ruin someones day, life, dreams. Maybe the doctor chooses the wrong words. Uses too many words. Not enough words. Too much compassion. Too little compassion.

Man is that hard.
But doctors also get to tell you things like:
You get to leave the hospital today.
It worked!
You don't need that medication anymore.
It's a girl!
You lost the weight and no longer are diabetic.
There is no sign of cancer.
You're scan is improved.
You're having a baby!
You will have a full recovery.
It was acid reflux, not a heart attack.
You're lab work came back clean.
You're treatment is keeping you right on course.
You're son will play sports again.

People may not criticize these doctors as much for their word choice. These patients may be elated and cry or make an exciting phone call. Some may praise the doctor for all they did for them. These patients will also remember these doctors and the chosen positive words for the rest of their life. Word for Word.

Imagine the stress these doctors must have. Day to day.
Working with these doctors is amazing, and no matter how late they run in clinic-remember they are helping someone with THEIR news.

In my field of work I am surrounded by doctors all day. Do I like everything they say to my patients? No. Do I like how they always treat ancillary staff (aka my coworkers and me)? No. Do I firmly believe they do what is best for the patient? Yes.

Eli has been blessed with such great doctors. I have had constant confidence in them as they have always showed just the right amount of compassion and just the right amount business.

I remember night 2 after Eli was born. He was still in the special nursery at Froedtert. It was probably 2 in the morning and we got woken up by one of the doctors from Children's Hospital. He said "If your son's platelets do not go up tomorrow, we will transfer him to the NICU". That is all he really said and we went back to sleep. I often wonder-why would a doctor do that? Why wake a mother up after a hard day of labor and emotional distress with all the medical concerns? I understand now and love that doctor for doing that. He was being honest, timely, updating us, talking to us so we would understand and be able to ask questions. This is the same doctor who came to Eli's room after his first attempted spinal tap just to check on him. I told the doctor to go away, because it made me nervous that he was there with some strange news to tell us. He laughed and reported that he does like to just check on his patients and say hi (even to a baby who knows no difference). Eli's pediatrician came to visit him the first day he was born at 9pm on a Friday night after putting his own 3 daughters to bed, has called me at 10 pm at night with lab results, and talks to Eli at his appointments. I love this man and trust him.

If you don't have a doctor because you don't need one, you are truly blessed. Good health is priceless. We often take it for granted until something sneaks up on us.

No matter the news they give you- it's not personal. Go for a second opinion whenever you can. Remember if your doctor doesn't talk to you like you want them to-change doctors. There is one out there FOR you. And when you find the one that helps you, keep them, trust them, thank them when they are on time and thank them for taking the extra 5 minutes to answer your questions. Their day is not easy.