Halloween Lights

I know we all saw some of these last year at Christmas but....Check it out!  Worth every 4 minutes. 
I think it motivates Andy to do something with our house at holidays but we'll never do anything this crazy.
My favorite is the "pumpkin face" that does the "whoo-ooooooh" part of the song.

Being Booed

We came home in the dark from an outing last night and it was 2 hours past Eli's bedtime.  There was stuff sitting by the door.  With our already full arms, we carried it inside to take a look.

We were "Booed" last night!  Do you guys have that in your neighborhood? I compare it to May Day.  A neighbor leaves you a treat on your door step, rings the door bell and runs away.   Too bad we weren't home last night or it would have been magical to open the door and look out with a smile. 

They left us a baby blanket (our first baby gift for baby bean!), a Halloween art kit, Halloween cookie cutters and some candy.  We wonder who did it.  There is only 1 neighbor that knows we're pregnant and would be agile enough to attempt to get away as I'm expecting they did.

So now it's our turn....to boo someone one.  And I can't wait for tonight.  What a fun new tradition.

Here are some more Halloween pictures.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to reach in....



This was his reaction!  But he kept on digging!



Eli's had a triangle nose, teeth and crazy eyes (His choice).  I kept mine simple. Daddy helped with both!

He's mesmerized

These 2 are waiting for whats next: Trick or treating!!

On the agenda for today:   laundry, dishwasher going, roast in the crock pot, art project done, trick or treating, new train video for Eli and and and and...

Change

You know how terrible I am at change?  I'll tell you-So so so so bad.

But I like this and it struck me yesterday that I'm one of the worst culprits of avoiding change.

If you always believe What you have always believed

You will always feel The way you have always felt

If you always feel The way you have always felt

You will always think The way you have always thought

If you always think The way you have always thought

You will always do What you have always done

If you always do What you have always done

You will always get What you have always gotten

If there is no change There is no change

-Author Unknown-

Here I am!

Where have I been? Anywhere but here on my blog...and I have so much to say, share, update you on!  Thanks for hanging in if you still check my blog.

Our family had a classic fall visit to a pumpkin farm.  Eli was very busy, had no fear to climb and crawl through and over everything and really enjoyed it.  I wish it hadn't been so windy, but isn't that all part of fall? 

Now I realize we didn't even get a picture of him with the pumpkin!! We did get one and he loves it. We'll carve it this weekend. 

I took this special girl out for lunch one random day.

We shared a pear. She brought her purse and wore her rain boots.  We both had some noodles and I asked her about school and Cinderella.  She taught me that eating with girls is different.  Not only do you worry about food dripping all over the cute clothes, but it also gets in the hair!  Thanks LB (goddaughter) for the start of a new tradition (I hope!).

We have been spending as much time outside that we can.  The weather has been cooperating for the most part.  Unfortunately our leaves on our big backyard tree are all still green!  We'll have our work cut out trying to get rid of those leaves in a few weeks.  I wish we could work ahead.  Here is Eli posing in the tree in the front yard and also mowing the lawn with Andy.

My belly is getting huge.  I can't walk down the hall at work without comments and stares and smiles.  Some people already sound like they feel sorry for me and I'm only (almost) 24 weeks.  This little bean inside is now much bigger than a bean and is (so far) growing right on target.  The most recent ultrasound turned out good and the doctor told me that usually a growth restriction won't turn up until after 30 weeks so we won't know anything else for a few weeks.  Poor Andy-he puts up with my moody-self.  I literally have a different complaint or worry/concern every day.   Is it wrong to want to start the baby room? I want the calm, serene atmosphere to sit in and dream about the arrival of the little bean.

I think Eli is getting the baby thing.  He asks if the baby is coming soon.  We've been talking to him about different things for when the baby comes but he still really has no idea what it all means.

Last weekend we took an impromptu trip to my parents house.  Grandpa Bob wanted to take Eli on a hike to a "tower".  Eli ran, literally ran, almost the whole way. He only fell flat on his face a few times but got right back up. We also had to remind him to stay on the path for the first 10 minutes. He wanted to explore off the path.  We saw a hot air balloon take off (amazing!) and climbed the tower for a few pictures.  It was oh-so special.

Eli had no fear in climbing the tower-he went first and never looked back!

Grandma stayed below with Bailee

Work has been taking all my ooomphs out of me and some days I wonder how I'll ever make it through another week.  Can it or will it get worse?  Everyone seems to think so!  Today I'm a little sad that I am not 6 hours away visiting my special nephew celebrate his 7th birthday.  I called to talk to him and he sounded very serious.  Maybe mature?  I know he was having a GREAT day and just wish I could spend some time with him. 

My mom and I went to a gluten free "experience" at a restaurant where they did a demonstration, shared recipes and served TONS of food. It was so fun to sit next to others and discuss their favorite products.  I went to bed so full that night with a smile.

I've been reading some good books lately and really enjoy that escape before bed. Any recommendations?

Also-Andy and I are planning a babymoon.  It will be in January, so mid-winter.  We don't want to drive too far in case there is a snow storm or I go into labor (1 month before due date).  We've thought about Chicago and take the train and see a show or play or concert of some sort.  Wondering what else we would/could do.  If we went somewhere like the Dells we would have options for a movie, spa, miniature golf, restaurants in a resort feel etc.  But we are open to other ideas-anyone have any good ones? I don't want to do too much walking but we'll want to leave the hotel room too.  Please share ideas!!!! Eli will be with the grandparents so we should get plenty of rest, good food and together time that is quiet.  Share share share ideas!!

My boys....they mean so much to me.

 

Over and out.

More of this person...

Looks long and lean....

For those of you (most of you) who are not seeing what this proud mom is seeing-in the middle of the screen are Baby Bean's legs.  The feet are on the left, so his/her body or torso is cut off the picture on the right side. See it?

The better to dance with?

Although these are not all my wishes below...these legs are going to travel the world he or she will create.  I can't choose those miles for him/her.  But thoughts cross my mind....

The better his lay up and rebounds will be?
The longer her long-jump will be?
The quicker her 100 yard dash or her yearly marathon will be?
The easier for him to sit pretzel style on the floor?
The easier she can become a model, a dancer, a librarian (reaching the top shelf)?
Nice long legs for a presidential candidate?
The easier for him to stand in the back for pictures or to sit in the back of the class and see the chalk board...
The better for her pants-they won't drag on the floor (and I won't have to hem).
The more fun he'll have doing the electric slide?
The easier for him to find the break pedal on the go-kart?
The more proper she will be at tea parties?
The more comfortable the lap for his kiddos he has some day...

oh no...the sooner he will have to  physically look down to his mother to talk to her?
The easier for her to catch up to her big brother?


I don't know if these legs are really that long and lean...it just looks that way in the picture.  BUT! Seeing this shot DID make me wonder what these legs would be doing in 5, 10, 20, 30 years from now. It really doesn't matter...I know I'll be proud and let those legs make their own decisions but I seriously cannot wait to find out. 

$15

The best $15 dollars I have spent at a rummage sale ever.....

The pack came with 3 potato heads and all the parts.  Parts like I've never seen before.  A doctor, fireman, lady, man, and police officer outfit. I know Eli will play with this for years and since it came with 3, it will be nice when friends come over. 

I bet you can tell which one Eli put together, but can you tell which one Andy did?  It was fun for even the adults!

2 days off.....

I just worked 9 days straight.  All of them over 8+ hours. Some 10 hours.  Wait-one was only 4 hours but then I came home and did work from home for about an hour.  I'm exhausted.  Last night I hosted book club and when it was over my heels were burning. 

Now I get 2 days off in a row.  It's my weekend.  And I'm ecstatic.  Seriously.  My mood is lighter, lifted, looser.  I feel like my soul is being polished.  Revitalizing. And it's only 8:30 am. 

I told some people "I'll be in bed tomorrow until I'm bored".  And here I am, piano music playing, facebook checked, an "everything" gluten free bagel in the toaster (my very first and so excited!) and it's only 8:30.  I'm not asking for much when I want to sleep in.  Anything past 7 am folks.  Who woulda thunk it?

I've felt some guilt sending Eli to day care while I'm home because I do want to spend some extra time with him. But again, I need this for my soul.  So when he gets home I can truly enjoy those moments with him, without wishing I could sit in the quiet bathroom and stare at the wall.  And I need to put my feet up.  And I really need (want) to get some things done around here.

One of my co-workers who also worked the weekend and is enjoying the day off-put it great. She told her husband that she doesn't want the tv on. She just wants to turn off the light and sit in the quiet dark.  The environment we work in is very loud-there are alarms all day long, doors slamming, nurses calling out, phones ringing, pagers beeping and then most of all-needy people utilizing us all day.  Some days we walk away feeling like we helped 20 people, sometimes more.  A lot of days we struggle to feel like we truly helped 1 person.  So when we get home, to the place and people we love-all we want to do is to enjoy it and feel the energy to move on from the day and let ourselves slide into "family life".  But sometimes it's a hard transition.  It's easy to be selfish and want 10 minutes to change out of work clothes and put your hair in a pony tail when you get home without someone pulling on your pant leg, barking to go outside or asking whats for dinner (aka welcome to the first 5 minutes of home life!).  I'm not complaining.  It's what I think a LOT of folks feel when they get home-no matter what they do for a living: teachers, bankers, customer service reps, human resources, gym trainers, presidents of the united states maybe?

Either way...here I am with my day before me. I can decide to go lay down. Clean up clothes around our bedroom.  Work on Amazon Christmas list etc.
For me today:
Lunch at Eli's Day Care (A surprise for him)
A park play date when he comes home!
Something NEW for dinner?
Buy some cheap Halloween Decorations-Eli is so excited!
A smile because I blogged already this am?
Start my new book club book! eeeeeee
Organize Eli's 2 year old pictures (order more) and send some out?
Take a nap.
Think about the baby-a lot!
Laundry-do it and fold it.
Sort through Eli's clothes

Tomorrow-the maternity store. the gluten free store? sleeping in? more of all of this.....maybe lunch with someone special (LB or Andy?)
I'm smiling all over today. 

Just a picture for today......

This vs. That

Because I've only been pregnant 1 other time, I can title this post This (current pregnancy) vs. That (my 1st pregnancy).  I've been having a tough time getting myself to sit down in front of this machine and blog at night after work mostly because I'm exhausted by the time I turn it on.  But here I am-after a weekend of working 8+ hours Saturday and Sunday, put Eli down for bed and ate my dinner on the couch while watching the Packers...and ready to blog.

Everyone keeps asking me if anything feels different during this pregnancy.  Any minor difference will warrant the discussion of "Do you think you're having a girl this time then?".  I think the funny thing about having a second pregnancy is that you only have 1 pregnancy to compare it to and That pregnancy was the FIRST pregnancy-so the excitement level is completely different.  The first time around, every little change that happened to my body was exciting, a sign that the little baby was really, truly there.  The excitement was day-to-day.  Thinking about names, baby room, taking a baby class, baby shower, every single doctor appointment, belly button popping, growing belly, feeling the kicks, laying awake dreaming about who the baby will look like etc.  This pregnancy the excitement swells over the things I KNOW to expect about having a tiny baby in my arms and less about the pregnancy junk.  There is so much anticipation in knowing we will watch Eli become a big brother, the growth of our family, the pride and excitement in Andy's eyes, planning another baby room, the smells of new baby and those teeny, tiny baby wails instead of the (sometimes fake) whiny loud big boy cries (Sorry Eli...we're on to you!). 

When I started to get bigger in the BB (baby-belly) area during That prengnacy it became real to me.  When I started to feel kicking and movements, I could finally accept there was a baby in there.  This time around, my BB got bigger, faster. And then I knew what was coming-the poor sleep, the bathroom breaks, the aches and pains.   I have gotten in maternity clothes a lot sooner as my BB has exponentially grown, despite not gaining much extra weight (yet).    I still waited for the first few kicks for This pregnancy, but for different reasons. 
Overall with This pregnancy I have felt more pregnant at an exhilarating speed.  They always say the BB gets bigger faster the 2nd time around and boy-oh-boy is it true for me.  I feel huge.  People are already touching, grabbing and talking in sometimes inappropriate ways about the BB.  But I'm still loving it. 

Last pregnancy I worried about if my baby would have a birthmark on his or her face.  This pregnancy I worry that the baby is alive.  A sad worry for a mom-but before Eli I never really knew anyone to have had a complicated pregnancy or delivery.  About 2 months before Eli was born, a friend of mine went into labor and her little girl had to spend some time in the ICU.  It was scary, but I knew that would never happen to me.  But it did.  And it was traumatic for me.  Imagine sleeping on the floor of a hospital guest room for 5-10 days after your first baby is born.  Your body is recovering and you can finally sleep on your belly or back, but not you-you are on the floor. Showering for the first 2 weeks after labor in the hospital shower, without flip flops, and using shampoo for soap etc (I know some of this was my choice-believe me-I know).   Imagine not getting any sleep those first few nights-not because your baby was crying and nursing, but because doctors were waking you up to tell you what was going wrong with your baby.   Imagine your husband's first Father's Day spent transferring from the nursery to the ICU.  Imagine for the first 24-48 hours of your brand new little one's life you had to ask to be "buzzed in" (for safety for the babies I know) to see your baby.   When you packed your suitcase for your first born-what did you pack? I packed for a happy 2 nights. Instead I stayed for 16 days and didn't have make up or clothes or clean underwear or outfits for that many days for eli either.
I wish I could have lived through it through so many other people. What it felt like to talk to me or andy. What it felt like to wait for news. How it felt to be a new grandparent or aunt? What it felt to be Andy-dealing with me, my emotions, HIS emotions.


You better bet your life that I'm anxious about This pregnancy.  Because we didn't get many answers about the etiology of much of what happened, we just don't feel settled.  It is not so much a worry that the same thing would happen (IUGR or thrombocytopenia) but that SOMETHING can happen.  Since Eli's birth, I've had a few other friends have issues during labor or pregnancy.  I've also had some family and friends have very healthy/normal/text book pregnancies and deliveries.  Being the pessimist that I am, I tend to focus on the scary possibilities.

So THIS time, we have changed OB's. We are having more imaging and keeping a closer watch on This baby.  I changed a few more diet habits in the first trimester.  And Andy and I have talked a lot more about different scenarios and less about baby names.

Andy and I were watching some little girls run around and dance-in all their pink and purple glory.   He said to me "you're hoping for a girl aren't you?".  I tried to explain my real feelings.  To me it does not matter the sex, the color hair or eyes or even size (to some extent).  To me...the real thing I want is for ME to be less anxious once the baby is out.  I want those moments.  And I'm allowing myself to want that out of  This pregnancy.  Because I've been on the other side.  I only know what I can know from my first experience.   I'm letting myself WANT those normal, healthy feelings.  Some people want a girl or a boy-I don't. I want something for ME as a mom.   I want to be more natural with the newborn baby.  I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to nurse that baby from day 1 without doctors and nurses talking "over" me  and writing orders I don't know about as I'm trying to pump or nurse in an uncomfortable hospital chair.  I want to feel comfortable with everything that goes on in This little ones life.  That's what I want.  I want to make choices and not ask other people questions.  I want these things for myself. For andy. For Eli. and for the baby.   I don't expect 100% smoothness-but I expect comfort, bonding and love.  That's all.   

Eli knows there is a baby on the way.  He likes to pat the baby gently and say goodnight. Sometimes he even gives "it" a kiss. But I know he has no clue.  He doesn't know a thing about what is going to hit him.  And I'm dying for that day to arrive....the count down is on.  

PS Happy Birthday Grandpa BOB!