It's been a while since my last blog. Being back to work takes a lot out of me. I am exausted by the time I get home. And I'm so excited to see my little E-bug that I don't have any time for anything else! Plus-he's been testing his daddy and me with having some crazy nights-staying up late and crying more and more.

Eli is 3 months old! He seems to do just fine at day care which makes going to work easier on me. Eli's newest talents include talking! He babbles a lot now. In the past if he made a noise it meant he was on the verge of a breakdown and was going to start crying. Now...he just likes to converse. Here is a video of him making his best noises. I know these videos are pretty boring and slightly ridiculous when you listen to Andy and I trying to talk to our 3 month old...but for those of you far away that don't get any "Elijah" time, this gives you an idea of his attitude!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Just One Question ....

Something new.......

Anyone have any good non-dairy recipes???
If I'm going to continue to nurse Eli, I have to change my diet and omit all the dairy (milk, cheese, yogurt, cream cheese, sour cream etc....). It's going to be soooo hard. I love butter on popcorn and cheese on noodles and pizza and cream cheese on a bagel and Alfredo sauce and frosting and yogurt (BOOOO HOOOO). I'm looking for anything-desserts (yum), breakfast, lunch or dinner ideas?! I know there is tons out there (my brother is a GREAT resource) but I'm open to suggestions and ideas to keep me motivated to continue this new restriction!

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good: My first birthday as a mom!
The Bad: Going back to work.
The Ugly: The health scare Eli had.
Read on for details....but first here are some updated pictures of Eli that I couldn't resist posting. He is 3 months old now.

So I've officially had my first birthday as a mom! And it was great!
It started on Friday night-Andy gave me a nice massage before I went to sleep. That is all I ever want-a nice foot massage and it's free and doesn't need wrapping paper or a bow. Saturday I woke to breakfast in bed (holy crap-my favorite type of donut!). We went for a nice family walk and reminisced about how little Eli was when he was born and how special he is. Andy let me take a nap while he cleaned up the house a bit. Then we ventured out for a really nice dinner at a hibachi Japanese restaurant where I had a glass of wine and got the giggles. I told Andy it was early to bed...but when I got home it sounded like there may have been a Bailee "accident" in the basement. As I yelled "Shit!" I ran downstairs to see what Andy was yelling about and SURPRISE! A whole bunch of my family and friends were there for a fun birthday surprise. HOW SPECIAL!! I turned 29-it wasn't a monumental year. I got a funny card from a co-worker that said:
Muffin tops
Cottage Cheese
Flap-jacks......
Remember when these were just delicious foods? Another birthday and still looking good.

Men may not understand that FUNNY-ASS card!
I thought that was HILARIOUS-THANKS NORA!!! Many put money together and gave me (or Andy and I) the option to get a one time cleaning lady or go to Dinner by Design! Here are a few pics....look at what my husband can pull off!
The Bad: I went back to work on Friday. It was sad and hard. There are just no other words to really describe that. Eli was at home with my mom which made things a bit easier and I had to take him to the doctor mid-day, so I got a chance to see the little guy. I did most of my crying the night before, a little in the morning and none at work! One of my co-workers said "You look so good, I was expecting you to have a puffy face!" A lot of people think it feels good to go back to work and to have some adult interaction--but not me. I hated every second of it. Monday Eli went to Debbie's daycare for the first full day. I only called twice to check on him and I emailed twice as well. Andy did drop off and pick up. Again, my tears were only Sunday night and Monday on the way there. Eli seemed to be happy. On Tuesday when I picked him up from Debbie's her 5 year old daughter was there to say "Goodbye Eli" and he gave her a HUUUUGE smile. I know he'll be happy there. While at work I got paged to the front desk-flowers from my AMAZING husband. I had a lot of support this day.

The Ugly: Monday night, 10:30 pm (was this emergent?)-get a call from Eli's doctor. His bloodwork was back and his platelets were low AGAIN. There was a very long discussion about why, what could the reasons be-many big terms used such as ITP (idopathicthrombocytopenia), inborn error, cancer, infection...enough to make me ball my eyes out when I got off the phone. It wasn't stressful enough that Eli was off to daycare for full days this week and I was back at work hooked up to the breastpump and talking to others about cancer... now I had to worry about my son and his future. The doctor made me stop eating/drinking any dairy and said he was anemic with a low hemoglobin. Soooooooo hard for parents to take this news (anyone see the movie or read the book My Sister's Keeper? YEAH---that feeling). It may not sound that threatening, or maybe it does to you-I don't know. But let me tell you-until you have been in these shoes-you will never know what this feels like. Imagine how sad you are if you hear someone else's child going through this-just think of it being your own child. Immediately Andy and I start trying to figure out why Eli's platelets are low and what are we going to do if he has to be hospitalized and why would the platelets be low and was there that much blood during the bloodraw and why were his platelets low and could we have a child with a medical mystery and why were his platelets low? Alllll the feelings and emotions that we had while he was in the hospital the first 16 days came tumbling right back. It was actually amazing to me how I could so quickly feel the exact same anxiety, fear and sadness that I had once experienced. Calling my mom in the morning was so hard. I cried all the way to work and my walk in. I think it's even harder on my mom and family and friends who don't work in a hospital because it is so difficult to understand some of the terminology and don't know what the scariest parts are. But my mom took the information and shared it with my sister who then supported me the whole time with all my feelings and fears. They both reminded me how awesome Eli is, how healthy he SEEMS and that he is not in any pain. The obsession with Eli's health is elevated when these things happen. I start to get jealous of all the healthy babies out there and all the families who don't' have any health concerns. I start to make deals with whoever...things like- Eli can be right handed if he just gets normal platelets-or I'll give up the idea of going part time if his platelets would just be normal etc etc. I just kept picturing all the different ways that Eli could grow up with different health issues and focused (because I'm a pessimist) on why he couldn't just grow up like my two beautiful nephews....When I am feeding Eli, or changing his diaper I took extra time to investigate his poop, check for red marks or rashes, study the veins in his head and look for possible blood anywhere. When Andy was with Eli, I watch Andy's face for any possible "questioning looks" and I'm right there to find out if something is up. I start to imagine things that could happen when he isn't right there with me-and I have a crazy/wild imagination. When we took him for his next blood draw at Children's, I walked down the long skywalk to the lab. OH MY GOSH-the smell of it made me ill, it was like I felt like I was right back where we started. Crazy terrible. We waited all night for the doctor to call us. Nothing. We prayed and I went to bed early, hoping that would distract me. This was not what I signed up for...to be a parent and not feel happiness, instead feel insecure, worried, full of fear and anxiety. This morning, still no call. At 8:30 I called the doc and requested the results ASAP. I never heard from him, so then I called the hematology nurse from Children's. She called me right back and told me that Eli's platelets were NORMAL! 463,000! halla-fricken-luya...however you spell that. I danced inside of myself and then called everyone who I knew was waiting to hear. A lab error. Unbelievable.

When I picked Eli up from day care today I gave him a high five and told him GOOD JOB making those platelets! He seemed content with himself. On the way home I had the song "Love Can Build a Bridge" on in the background...and I heard Eli cooing in the backseat. I cried for my very very very very NORMAL boy. And just to clarify as I've said before-I would do it all again.

Organized Suck

There is something that makes my day every single day-I hope that by the end of the day I can always identify it! Today, I realized it has already happened-early. It was when I looked in Eli's crib this morning and realized how Andy organizes his night:(Those are pacifiers)

This is not fabricated, it truly looked like this. Andy must get all pacifiers ready for any immediate need. They look like they are ready for an attack. LOVE IT!

And before any other mom's think it, I KNOW the sheet is not tight enough and could be a risk for SIDS, so new sheets went on today!

I Hate the Dentist Part II

So...you're probably wondering why there was no explanation for my last post.

Does there need to be one?
I think the title says it all.
Seriously.
Obviously.
Who likes the dentist? Who would EVER want to work there? If you said "ME!" just so you know people curse your name as they walk out of the building. NO LIE. Every time that I go to the dentist I tell myself that it won't be that bad. I calmly remind myself on the drive over that it probably isn't going to be as terrible as the time before. And I'm right this time, it isn't as terrible-it's WORSE. The whole time my legs were crossed so tight and my feet are gripping the flips flops that I wore. I'm holding my own hands and pinching my skin whenever need be. I just hate it. Every time she takes an instrument out of my mouth I am hoping, praying, hoping, praying that she will say "ok, everything looks good, you're all set!" but no, she grabs a different size "tooth pick" to scrape and poke.
When I got pregnant with Eli and my blood volume increased, my gums started bleeding with every brush, morning and night. They still do a bit but because of that I have not been flossing as I should have. Yeah-I'm TOTALLY paying for that. I am vowing to do it daily if it gets me outta that building faster next time.
Meanwhile, it was a wonderful distraction from the fact that Eli was at his new Day Care (Debbie's Day Care) for the first time today. It was only for 2 hours, but still a feat for me. The dentist kept me busy enough: mind, body and spirit that I didn't cry from missing the little guy once I got in the building.
And if anyone is wondering Eli seemed to do fine at the day care. One of the little gals who is just about 5 informed me that the girl next to Eli "puked a lot". She didn't have anything to say about Eli so I think that must mean he's accepted in!
I think the only one I have to apologize to for this post is my cousin Theresa who may have something to do with the dentistry field. I guess you'd be proud-no cavities. Thank goodness.

I Hate the Dentist!!!!!

End of my summer

The countdown is on...I will go back to work on Friday, the day before my birthday. I got an email from my brother wondering what I was hoping to get for my birthday. If I had my choice, I would like to wake up on Friday and have my husband tell me he arranged for me to stay home for the day as well as himself. Then we would take Eli to the zoo. Not because Eli likes the animals, but because I do! Do you think he can pull that off?
I'm increasingly emotional about going back to work. The sleep deprivation can only get worse-I'm sure of it. (But then it will get better I'm told). I will become best friends with the breast pump instead of bonding with my little guy 8 times a day. And I feel as though I will miss out on moments with Eli that I can never get back. But....what must be, must be. This past week I had a play/lunch date with some co-workers. One gal who works part time and has her little one stay with family on her work days said she thinks that kids that attend a day care with other kids may be more advanced than her little one-in ways of verbal communication etc. That made me feel a little better, only one of the few comments that actually does make me feel better in this situation. Any mother who has spent 3 months attached (almost physically) to their newborn and then has gone back to work, while leaving her son or daughter with someone else (often times a stranger) knows exactly what I am talking about. Maybe I'm anticipating it to be worse than it will be. Either way, I have thouroghly enjoyed my maternity leave. To the max! I would do anything to get a few more weeks-I even offered to go to the dreaded dentist weekly if I could stay with him longer. I thought a few weeks ago that I would start to play the lottery, hoping to win just enough money to let me go part time...but I didn't do it.
Here are a few more photos from my awesome maternity leave-play dates with friends, get togethers, and plain ol' time with the little guy. I love you Elijah-no matter if I'm with you all day or not!!!! You are the best little boy that a mama could ever have!

Secret Agent

Yup---I had to get glasses. So I tell myself I look like a secret agent-NOT a nerd. I tried on approximately 80 pairs but am too cheap to get anything realllly cool. It's a very light prescription and I only need to wear them when I'm driving, looking at a scoreboard or watching a presentation etc.- all of which are things I need to look secret agentish during.

Dog House

Hi Everyone-Today I got multiple requests to add a new post to my blog.
It's nice to know that if I miss a few days, that people notice that I have not written.
It forces me to encourage others to start a blog-so that I can follow them, know what is going on in their life and request that they post a new entry.
So...tonight is sort of a busy night-being a Friday. But here is a short post-let me know if you've seen this video (just leave a comment in the comment section-you can leave on as anonymous and type you're name in if you don't have a gmail account).
This is by far-one of the most humorous videos I have ever seen. I've watched it probably 5 times. Make sure to watch it all the way through. Listen to what the woman is saying in the background when he gets in the dog house.
Just for reference-my mother is the one who introduced me to this awesome clip.
Click HERE to watch!