Waiting

It's so hard to wait for Santa....

But we're doin' it and we THINK he is going to come tonight.
So we did the who spiel...we put out the cookies and wrote the letter (oh dear, what to do when your little boy asks for something on Christmas Eve that he hasn't asked for all season?)

Merry Christmas to you all.  

(Thank you Sarah ....For the love of naps for the majority of these pictures!)

Snow

I am a huge Indigo Girls fan-been to multiple (probably more than 6) concerts.  I can't get enough.  Have you read this post by Mamastery?  Reason #1003 that I love her!  I specifically love the caption below the blurry photo!!!!  So take a listen (this is the ONLY version I could find online-so you can turn it off as soon as the song is over).  It's not important to watch, just keep washing those dishes with this song on in the background, because nothing important really happens.  But I love this holiday song, the lyrics and how light it is.

It finally snowed here.

Hugh isn't so sure about all that fluffy stuff yet.

Here's to hoping the temps cooperate so Hugh can touch his first snowman.  

First Holiday Post

Take a listen....




Where have I been you ask?

Catering to this little guys every need.

I'm one who is so so so very excited about the holidays.  I'm cheesy and ridiculous and want to listen to Christmas music as soon as the temperature drops below 50 degrees or right after trick or treat.  Or whichever comes first.  I tip toe around this though, because I know there are a lot of holiday haters scrooges out there who don't want to hear any holiday carols until the week before Santa's arrival.

But this year I am having a hard time getting in the spirit.  Eli asks what "getting in the spirit" means.  It's hard to explain because it's mostly a feeling.  But my heart is heavy because I think about it all day and the only magic I have felt in the last few weeks are only snippets throughout the day.  And I want to sandwiched between wrapping paper, big red bows, Christmas cookies and snow flakes.

The kids are definitely in it.  There is a lot of jumping, and counting down and questions about Santa and the long, long, long, never ending list of things that needs to be put on "the list" for under the tree.  So I take note of all of that, and pat myself on the back at the end of the day that I haven't failed.  Even though I haven't felt magical glittery all day, the boys do.  So I must be doing something right.

And even though I struggle, I remember that the littlest things bring them joy.  And I'm lucky to be the mom who gets to watch as they oooh and ahhh over the holiday magic.

So it may not be relaxed cookie baking, or slow ornament hanging with a glass of wine, or even wrapping with the help of a little finger.  It might just be avoiding the malls, hearing Rudolph the red nosed lyrics out of my 4 year old or the red sparkly candle I finally lit.

So that magic that I can remember, I feel it and it IS there.  It's just different this year.  As my sister says, this is my season. Letting go of the expectations of what it was, or ought to be (who decides that anyways, except yourself) is important.   The spurts of Christmas joy that I feel adds up over the weeks.  And there is no rush. None what so ever.  It will be so sad when it's over. So slow down December.  Slow down world.  Take deep breaths and let yourself feel that spirit-however it hits you.

Sweet Follow Up

I adore that little baby bite

2 weeks ago I took the boys out for donuts. I was going to go through the drive through but Eli talked me in to taking them inside and I'm glad that he did.  There is just something about a doughnut shop.  And because I'm a dietitian--it's not real often that we have this treat.  I hope that this keeps it a special outing--because it's SO cute to watch them dig in and devour.  

You'd think that this amount of sugar would cause a tantrum or two.... but not this day!  So I posted these pictures as a sweet follow up to my last post about my difficult day with Hugh.  Not every day do I need a Bravo and a pat on the back.  Some moments are that encouragement in itself.  

It's easy-and it will mean something

It’s not about what we are doing: bottle feeding, breastfeeding, baking a cake, buying one from Costco–it’s that all of these things are done with love and intention. How we love and care for our children is a matter of individuality, but the whys are more similar than we think. If we as parents spent less time being critical and defensive and more time lifting each other up, the journey would be a little easier on all of us.

About a week ago my friend sent me a link to this blog post.  I read a lot of blogs (although I don't usually follow this one) that emotionally move me.  This one actually brought me to tears at certain points.  It may have arrived in my e-mail box at just the right time.

Then this happened.

Yesterday was one of those really hard mom days.  Hugh threw a monster tantrum in the morning that included choking on cheerios in his throat and up his nose.  It happened early in the day and I felt like hunkering down in the house and just letting ourselves settle.  But I didn't let it get me down.   I decided  to still take this kiddo out of the house and took the boys to the library for story time.  Hugh was strapped in the stroller and Eli was coloring at the table. Because Hugh is not able to tell me what he wants, I realized too late that his grunt meant he wanted out of that stroller immediately so he could color like a big boy.  As I reached down to unbuckle him from the stroller he started tantruming. I don't care that it isn't a word. That IS what he was doing.  And it was so intense I could not get the buckle unbuckled.

I literally froze.  I couldn't figure out if I should just order Eli out of the library and back home. Before I could decide I dared myself to look around.  This kid was screaming, crying and thrashing in his stroller.  A mom was RUSHING at me.  I was scared she was going to try to help me and ask "WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?"  But instead she looked at me and said loudly "It's OK.  We've ALL been there".  I said "Thank you" and turned around and started crying.  Those words she said to me ---I don't even know what to say about them.  Someone must have said them to her.  They just meant SO much to me.  Nobody had ever really said that to me IN THE MOMENT before.  Afterwards yes, but never during. 

The friend who had sent me the blog post above was ironically IN the building and came rushing to my side. She put her arm around me, gave me a squeeze and told me "you're doing it. it's OK".  I couldn't stop crying. And I feel like I could cry right now just thinking about how the librarian came up next. She put her arm around me too and told me about her second son who did this same type of thing and he was normal now, married and a good dad.  She told me "this is the perfect place for that to happen".  

I have to be honest.  In the past when I've seen kids throwing tantrums I always look at the parent and noticed

1. The mom looks frazzled, tired, frustrated, upset, scared, unsure or just plain mad

2. The mom probably didn't even get a chance to shower or eat breakfast that morning

3. The mom sometimes has another child at her side, who starts to act up at the same time because of all the attention flowing the other way.

I was -in all ways-that mom.  Not even a week after I read that blog post.  I cried all the way home-remembering these words I had read:

 Yesterday, my 3-year-old was having a tantrum as we left a play area. I calmly said to him, “Let’s not get worked up, if we take a deep breath together I think it will be alright.” I was actively choosing to be calm and help him deal with his emotions; I could have easily yanked him out the door and told him to knock it off. On a different day, with less sleep and patience, I might have done just that. But he took a deep breath with me and we were both calm.

The lady holding the door for her three children also held the door for me and as she did she turned me and said, “Bravo, Mama. Well done.”

We all need cheerleaders sometimes. I challenge you to be one.

That word, Bravo, resonates with me.  It is the epitome of how I feel about mom's who have to trudge through the highs and lows of parenthood and can't control everything that is going on.  They just are stuck (and blessed) with this unconditional love that keeps them going.  

So now, I ask you. I challenge you.  I challenge myself too.  Let's be each others cheerleaders.  Let's say "good job!" when you think "I'm so glad that's not me today, because I've been there and I'm out of that stage but I can remember".  Don't walk away.  Don't judge that mom.  Say "cheers to you, good job you, you're doing the hard stuff well, it's ok and you're a good mama, Bravo!" Be the cheerleader.  

Our little fall action

 We've really been enjoying fall. 

He really -got- it this year.  

Even though there hasn't been enough apple cider or even a single serving of apple crisp---we've been enjoying a good ol' Wisconsin fall. 

We got our first dusting of the white stuff this week.  I allowed myself to enjoy the beauty of it falling to the ground.  The dusting was just enough to get the boys all excited.

But today looked more like this... (although this was taken a month ago) and we let ourselves run and jump-so good for those boys souls.  

And thank goodness there is one other female in this house to keep me sane!

So I know it's only November but my Christmas spirit is slowly emerging.  (Don't worry, I love Thanksgiving even more than Christmas-so I won't forget about it!)  I can tell it's going to be magical this year.  The boys are at the perfect age to show tons of excitement.  And I want to breathe it all in (although I'm counting on all of you to remind me of that when the boys are jumping off the walls) with slow, twinkling lights, hot chocolate drinking, Christmas carols and stocking hanging bliss.  So weather you are the type of person who gets the Christmas tree set up the week before Christmas or a month ahead of time....  Even if you refuse to listen to holiday music until December 24th or you already are baking your cookies-let the joy of the season take over--whenever and however works for you.  

For now let's continue to enjoy the fall for as long as we can.

Things are buzzzzzzing around here...

This happened today.

Everything was all smiles....

Until we realized Daddy was going to cut down (without a plan) the huge beehive we found in our front tree.  I don't know how we didn't see this thing until about a week ago, but I'm kind of glad I didn't.  Because I have a feeling I wouldn't have left my house all summer unless I had snuck out the back door and climbed over the fence.  Regardless-I have no knowledge how to cut this type of thing down and our neighbor who wandered over after informed me that most bees are gone after the first frost.  Would have been nice to know as Andy was positioning the ladder to climb up by it.
I suggested putting a plastic bag around it in case he would wake up all the hibernating bees (Shows you how much I paid attention during nature talks).  He told me it would be impossible due to the 3 branches that were sticking through the hive.  Yikes.  He didn't go online, he didn't use any spray, he didn't have on gloves or goggles.

His
life
was
on
the
line.

The little boys rooted him on while I nagged and nagged Andy "Are you sure???".  Andy was sure and he ordered me to go get a different saw down in his workroom.

Andy suggested I ask Eli's teacher if any classroom would like this brought in for science day...haha.  I bet she says NO!  To be honest it is quite cool to look at now that it's empty and sits in our garage-waiting until we figure out what to do with it....toss in the trash for the garbage truck or put on the side of the road with the leaves?