Dear Elijah,
The last few days have been HARD. You've been sick. DARN sick. And I've hated every second of it. You've had high fevers, spots all over (feet, hands, mouth, in your mouth, on your lip, on your back on your tummy etc.),you won't eat, you won't sleep and you are needy. You've seen nurses and doctors and you've spent extra time with mommy and daddy. Nothing phases you. You get by. You make it. You survive being sick.
Mama on the other hand...no she does not survive. I am extra tired from being so anxious about you being sick. Of course you are ok. OF COURSE! But something happens when you get sick and I cannot handle it. My mind starts to race, I start to watch you toooo carefully. I begin to examine every inch of you, your every action, how you are eating and drinking, how you feel, seem, scream etc etc etc. It's only because I love you.
I also stayed home from work to take care of you. I always wish for extra days with you. But spending the day with you when you are sick, whiny, feverish, whiper-snaperish, crazy, mad, angry, tantrum-ish, never hungry but always thirsty....by 6 o'clock I was ready for a bottle....of cold beer! At the same time you were ready for your bottle of milk.
I just want you to know that tonight I rocked you extra long after your bottle. You snugged in so deep on my shoulder tonight with Mr. Teddy. You hugged him hard but cuddled with me. So I rocked you. And rocked you. Dad came home from work and didn't interrupt. He knew...we were having our moment. The moment we needed all day. We needed that extra rocking to wash away all the hard moments. Your hard moments. All my hard moments. All OUR hard moments. Don't get me wrong, we had some special moments too. But being sick is no easy task and neither is the care-taking task. It's been 2 hours since you went to bed and I wish we were still rocking.
I love you baby boy!!!!!! Get better soon.
Love, Mama
4 comments:
Being a mama of a sick babe is heart wrenching. The mix of emotions that flow from one moment to the next are overwhelming. I am glad you got your rocking moment in with him. It is amazing how those moments are thrown into the journey at just the right time. Sleep well sister.
aww... poor eli... and poor mama... HUGS to you all. i hope everyone is feeling better soon
This blog made me tear up. You are a perfect mom Raina, with all the love and feelings that come along with it. Eli is very lucky to have you and Andy and he will build up his immunities and stay the most important fellow in your lives.
You always make me cry with your sweet mama moments. Eli and Andy are so lucky to have you to love them so so much.
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