Grace in the Small Things: Picture Edition

1. A successful trip up to Mercer provided Eli with some Grandparent and Aunt Monica time.  I was sooooo happy we had good travel weather, good health and lots of good food!! 

2. You know your "Up North" when you see this:

This is the boot line up.  I laughed when I saw it. Andy laughed when I took a picture. These are some heavy duty boots.  These are not fashionable Uggs or moon boots or slip-ons.  These are boots for real men or real "up north" folk to wear when shoveling.  I love that they have them in every size.  We arrived on a clear Friday night. When we woke up at 7 am-it was white outside.  Andy actually needed these boots. Love it!

3. Tonight Eli made himself busy with the pan and lid cupboard.  He took every single pan out and was knee deep!  He kept dropping the lids on the floor or in the pans and it was rather loud. But-he stayed preoccupied so I could make his dinner.  He did crawl in the cupboard and say "door. door. door" until I shut it for him. Then he had some alone time.

4. No picture for this one-but I have been working on "Cheers" with Eli so that at Thanksgiving after the toast-he can participate.  He's got the hang of it.  He says "Du-er" which comes out as "do-ahh" for Cheers. That's the best he can do. And it melts my heart.

5. We met last Saturday for book club and not only did we talk about our last months book-we exchanged cookies. Everyone made a 1/2 dozen cookies for each member.  It was excellent. Here are mine  (and YES I made them all, except Andy put the white chocolate drizzle on!).  We discussed "The Glass Castle" and our next book is titled : Kitchen Confidential. Anyone read that yet? 

6. No picture for this one either-but we live blocks from Candy Cane Lane.  This is a pretty big deal for Milwaukee-lights on every house for blocks to come.  This usually would not excite me, except that it's awesome.  That's all I can really say about that.  No...I can say more.  It's a fundraiser for the Mac Fund and it's HUGE.   It's so close it's within walking distance.  It's fun to see each house try to out-do each other.  Cars literally drive up and down the blocks with their car lights off at a maximum speed of 5 mph.  This year we are excited to share Candy Cane Lane with Grandma Roeder. Hopefully it won't be bitterly cold and we can walk it!

7. Thanksgiving is just days away. I'm working up my appetite as we speak.  It is my favorite holiday of the year. Gobble gobble people!  (Below is the turkey Eli made at Miss Debbie's today. So so so special)

No x 1000

Dear Mr. Elijah Casey,

Oh how many times can I say no to you in one night? I didn't count today but it felt like too many.
I love you!
Sincerely,
Your mama



To the rest of you mom's out there-why is it that "no" becomes the main word in your vocabulary as your sweet lil ones learn the ropes?
I have tried re-wording my sentences and changing the "tone"

-Let's go over here!
-Please keep it closed! 
-Can you try this?
-We should hold on to our toys.
-Please sit on your butt.
-Put it on your tray, not the floor.

There is only so long that I can be "nice mommy" before it turns into threats (FYI-these are things that are said after multiple attempts with wording such as above):
"Do not feed the dog or your done"
"It will be night-night time if you rip the page out of that book before I get over there"
"Sit on your butt or bath time is over"
"No more toys if you throw them"

And I know he is age appropriate. And I know he may not understand everything I'm saying.  Sometimes I even laugh after I've said it thinking it would be hilarious if he DID understand what I just said.

And I'm just not sure what to do.  I've read in parenting books and magazines that it's ok to teach your children in simple sentences when they are Eli's age.  I  read that it's not good to say "No" without trying to indicate why you are saying no.  One of my co-workers said that she feels she says no to her kids all the time as well and was going to work on saying "Yes you may!" at least once a day.  When she said this to me I oh-so-naturally nodded in agreement.  I felt that too!

I think the hard part for me (and possibly other mothers) is that after working  an 8-10 hour day I get home and want to see my little boy smiling, giggling and obeying because that is easier on me.  But being a mom was never supposed to be "easy" and therefore it's a struggle to stay calm, be organized, get out of my work clothes, feed him, bath him, change him, sing and read to him and play with him without saying the dreaded word "no".  I have to remember he has also had a day-good, bad or otherwise.  He also experienced frustrations, fatigue, rules and maybe even counted the minutes until he could be home with his family.  The way he acts at night is different than in the morning as he is tired in the evening and ornery kids are usually a bit more sensitive.  It tests me-oh boy does it test me.  Regardless of the mood I never fail to give him tons of hugs and kisses and thank goodness I do because once he is sleeping I am a big bag of guilt and sadness when I realize that my time with him is done for the night.
I wish he was still awake.
I wish he could snuggle with me for an hour.
I wish I could lay next to him and stare at those precious chubber cheeks, give him as many kisses as I wanted when I can finally relax and un-wind from my day.

That 1-3 hour time frame I have with him at night before he goes to bed is stressful for the whole family and is not what I always want it to be.  I wish I could spend all 1-3 hours on the floor playing, laughing, saying YES, reading books, teaching and singing.  It's something I need to work on-giving him all of me, all my attention.  I know this is what he wants and needs.  Instead it's usually spent trying to make dinner, make phone calls that I can't make while I'm at work, running errands or getting groceries, dealing with the dog, checking the mail, starting the laundry, paying the bills etc (there is NO time to fit in a workout!). The first step for me is identifying that I need to be patient with him.  I'm the grown up-he's the child.  He needs love and I need to give it or I won't sleep.  Looking for some tips...from any mom's who've been in my predicament!


I wonder how many times my mom had to say "No" to me (sorry Grandma Barb!).

Weekend Get Away

Eli and I took a trip this last weekend.  It went FAST. The car ride went SLOWWWW.  But I have to admit, it was successful.  I challenged myself to a trip without Andy.  I wanted to show myself that I could do it.  The trip to my sisters is well over 5 hours.  Maybe 6 if you make a substantial stop along the way.  We arrived by dinnertime on Friday, which was followed by play time and bath time with the cousins.  It was such a special trip for me, because I was one-on-one with Eli the whole weekend.  I worried about things like if he missed his daddy or his dog, how he would nap in Henry's room, why I hadn't thought to pick up some milk, how he would ride in the car and what I would do with him if I had to go to the bathroom during a pit stop.

We both survived and memories were made.
Here are the highlights:

1. Eli slept for 1 hour of the 6 hour ride on the way there.  He took 2 hour long naps on the way home.
2. I loved looking in my rear view mirror into "Eli's mirror" where I could see him during the trip.  He figured out how to pop up his straw in his cup and got so much joy from it!
3. I got a good game of soccer in with Charley!
4. We took the boys to Home Depot and made spice racks. Ed helped Eli with his.  I made mistakes on Charley's.  Ed fixed Charley's.  My sister was a true pregnant woman and stood in the front of the store eating M&M's.  The boys shared a snack on the floor of home depot.
5. My mom, sister, Ed and I enjoyed some gourmet cupcakes.  We voted on the best ones.  The picture below  shows my pregnant sis indulging!

6. My sister made some GREAT meals. YUM.
7. In case you're wondering, Eli stood and held my hands while I used the bathroom-I just didn't want him touching everything!
8. Eli got to hold hands with Aunt Sarah, Cousin Charley and even Uncle Ed!

9. Eli LOVED to play in the yard outside.  He enjoyed the slide, peeking at Grandma at the top of the jungle gym, and running under the deck or to other people's yards.
10. When we got close to home I said to Eli "Do you want to go home and see Daddy?" and he patted his chest SO hard to communicate that "YES PLEASE, I want to see Daddy!".  Melted my heart. Andy was equally as excited to see him.
11. I enjoyed a couple glasses of wine which shows how relaxed I was.
12. I just LOVED watching these boys together!

 (No Ed is NOT watching the tv while in charge of all 3 boys even though it looks like it! haha :))

 13. The boys enjoyed a bath together! 

13. Eli slept really well in Henry's crib!
and....and and and and I feel like the moments could keep going.  I'll leave it at that. Below are more pictures captured from the weekend.

2 E's in a pod ....again

Elliott (left 18 months) and Elijah (right 16 months)

Eli:  Can you believe they are talking about our diaper sizes?

Elliott: I know! For REAL! Would they want US talking about their underwear sizes? I don't think so.

Eli: Well what are you doing tonight?

Elliott: I thought I was hanging with you!  Goin' swimming!

Eli: Oh yeah. Right.  Race ya to the pool?  Wait, I gotta touch your hair first. Love ya cuz!

If you think your life doesn't mean anything....

Then you should spend some time with your grandparents or great aunts and uncles and ask them about their past.

This weekend my mom, Andy, Eli, my brother Greg and his girlfriend Liz and I went to visit my grandpa.  He said he is 87!  He is a quiet man.  We don't see him that often and when we do it can be a struggle to keep the conversation going because he doesn't say much.  We usually try to visit in teams so that we can help each other out with the conversation. 

We arrived with the idea of "interviewing" my grandpa and seeing what he could recollect about his past.  We wanted to ask about his childhood, his take on meeting my grandma, his memories as a dad and a farmer.  It was SUCH a special experience. My mom took notes and may even type it up for us.  I really think he enjoyed the "session" just as much as we did.  There were many questions that his answer was "I don't remember" or "That was a long time ago" or "I don't know". 

During a quiet time my brother said to all of us "see, this is why you should write about your life".  It totally clicked with me.  Even if you don't think you have done anything special or out of the ordinary with your life (no matter how old you are), someone will want to know about it. You may have children, grandchildren or great grandchildren who won't be able to picture the life we now lead in 20-60 years.  We may forget the mundane or normal things we do each day that would seem so interesting to our family in years to come.  Those details that we will probably forget could paint images of our past for those in our future.  Even the little things such as favorite meals, what you would do with an extra $100, what the Holiday's were like and what your cell phone was able to do for you.

Oh how I dream to spend a day with my Grandpa as a child-to see his days as he helped his dad "pick stones" (which appears to be the dreaded job back then), meeting my grandma and his wedding reception at the farm house, and how farming changed from when he was just helping to when he was running it.  What a life to live- on a farm-something he said he always wanted to do-never wanted to be a teacher or police man.  Things he couldn't answer for us (maybe he erased from his mind) were his thoughts on World War II, how he proposed to my grandma, if a farming income was always enough to get by, how he felt about my dad (his oldest child) going off to college instead of following in his footsteps to be a farmer and how he feels about how farming has changed from his day.
Things he could tell us were that if he had an extra dollar he would have taken it to the fireman's picnic and played a game or bought a soda, he first tried a cigarette when he was 6 and then never again, he dated my grandma for 4 years and they went dancing weekly (where they just "swung around"), details about milking the cows and what other animals they had, speaking Luxembourg and going to school where the teachers only spoke English, he drove his dad's 1928 black dodge and more...

During the visit Eli sat on his lap a couple of times.  They high-fived a few times. There were silent moments and lots, lots, lots of laughs, which was the goal of the visit. 

 (The picture on the wall behind us is the family farm, which is no longer "in" the family)

Boo!

Last year Eli was a soft, fluffy, cuddly reindeer.  He sat in the bouncy seat at the door watching the trick or treaters come and go.  This year he was the perfect skeleton!

I'm not a fan of Halloween.  I have never even walked through a haunted house because they creep me out.  As I said in an earlier post-I never dressed up in college to celebrate even though almost all of my friends did.  As a kid I felt weird trick or treating.  But after this year I have developed a crush on Halloween.

Andy, Eli and I spent the day at my parents house.  Eli napped through the beginning of the trick or treat frenzy while we watched the Packer game.  After he woke up and "Suited up" we ventured out.  I had it in my mind that we he would survive about 3 houses.  I think he actually made it to about 15!  I fell in love with trick or treating as my cute, lovable skeleton traveled from house to house carrying his blue "bumba" (pumpkin).  He often threw his pumpkin or dropped it to pet a dog or pick up a leaf.  But he did get a lot of others to smile as he stole their hearts. One little fella who was just ahead of us at some of the houses turned to Andy and I and said "I like your son!"-my favorite moment of the day.
I also found out that my mom enjoys Halloween much more than I knew.  I didn't realize that she enjoyed taking us trick or treating or that she got a thrill out of handing out the candy.  She actually counts the number of kids that come by and this year 131!

When we were done with trick or treating we sorted the candy.  Eli can't eat most of it, as it is either a choking hazard or has nuts or peanut butter. Darn!  I guess Andy and I will have to take care of it.

We left a bowl of candy outside of our house since we weren't there during "meet and treat".  I hung a sign that said "Boo! We see you. Please take 1. Happy Halloween.".  Last year we had tons of candy leftover so on the way home Andy and I discussed if we thought that there would be any left, or if any little boys (I assumed only boys would do this) took handfuls instead of just 1.  The bowl was empty!  Probably a good thing as we should watch our waistlines before the other big eating holidays arrive.

Happy Halloween to everyone out there trick or treating in the dark.  What will next year bring?! Boo!

Sunday Blues

Who has 'em? I do!
Every
Single
Sunday.

I can't get past it.  My mom always tells me to enjoy the weekend instead of wasting part of it, but sometime around 2 pm on Sunday I get crabby.  I can't seem to forget that the next day it's back to the grind.  I can't describe this feeling.

Ok, yes I can. 
It
-is totally frustrating
-is a downer
-is sad
-is aggravating
-is stressful
-is depressing
-feels never-ending
Well you get the point. I could go on and on.  Every Monday feels like I'll never catch up and I'll never survive until Friday and I would do anything to get out of it.

I do end up surviving.  But not without a total angry period on Sunday.  I need some ideas on how to get past it on Sundays.  What do all you "dreading Monday" mom's do to get by?

Tonight the only thing that helped was putting this song on loud and attempting this dance (see old post) here.