In 5 years....

A few months ago I went through emotional turmoil as we changed day care providers.
I didn't realize how important and meaningful those ladies were in our lives.  Eli had been going to the same 2 day cares since the day my maternity leave was over.  Hugh transitioned really nicely with both places too.

We lost Miss Kristi first which was devastating, but had our wonderful fallback of Miss Debbie.
It happened so fast and so unexpectedly.  I almost felt like it was a high school break up all over again.  I (literally) laid in bed and cried for about 2 hours.  I called my sister and with my ugly cry face and even uglier cry voice I told her what happened.  It was just an email that snuck in to my inbox telling me we had about 30 days left at Miss Debbie's.  My heart was broken.  These ladies were the ones I trusted with my littles.  And my work schedule is so weird, I knew it would be hard to find a place that would be as near and dear to my heart. And one that I could afford.

I spent a lot of time, going out of my comfort zone (if you know me) calling ladies and centers after lady after centers.  I dragged Andy to a few and I went alone to some.  I felt very sorry for the first lady.  She was so nice, but I just wasn't ready and when I left and got in the car (with Andy driving) I let myself cry again.

But....after a few recommendations and a little bit of luck, we found an opening with Miss Brenda.
And she's amazing.  She has her own nicknames for Hugh and seems to think he is a piece of cake to care for (ha!).  It melted my heart to hear that Eli said "I love you Miss Brenda" before his nap on his first full day with her.  She has been flexible to help on days that we weren't scheduled for and MAN! Her art projects blow me away.  The reason that I'm so impressed is that most of her projects would require quite a bit of preparation (maybe the night or day before), assistance with gluing and cutting (especially with Hugh) and a whooooooooooole lot of patience.  And when you have more than 1 Hugh-type running around---who has time to paint hands and feet.

Hugh's handprint lion

So it is as I have always told myself (after my first real hard-core break up)---in 5 years we will be back together or I will be over it. (It has never, ever taken 5 years to get over something but I always give myself a few years as a cushion).   So as I sat, laying in bed, crying my eyes out---I reminded myself that I am strong enough to get through 5 years of heartbreak over losing these ladies.  And if in 5 years we weren't back getting care from them, I had faith that we would find someone else and I would be over it.  It's such a hard lesson to be confident in when you are right in the moment.  And usually you curse the person who reminds you "it will all work out", but it's true.

The ghost body is Hugh's footprint

So thanks to all who helped me through it.  Thanks to the recommendation from the co-workers.  Thanks to Brenda.  And thanks to my boys who made it through the transition without even a tear.