Andy just walked out the door. I asked for an extra hug before he left. It's just been one of those days. So here I sit, at the kitchen table, with the lap top to blog. The I-pad to play words with friends (Lame-o on a Friday night) a glass of wine and the Christmas cards to address. Tonight, on a Friday night, I'm just a mom.
Today I watched this video and then spent some time contemplating. Blogging. Erasing. And texting with a friend who saw it completely different. It's a thinker. That's all I'll say because no matter how much it made me think-I'd never give up this job of being just a mom.
One of the best moments of my day was when Eli agreed to do a puzzle race with me. I know it's not a manicure, or a movie or a shopping excursion. He's a boy and I'm just a mom.
Today I said some mini prayers for my nephew who had surgery again. I wonder how he's recovering and I also wonder how his mom is doing. That's just what mom's do-worry about other kids and their mom's.
Today the boys and I went to visit Andy at work during his lunch break. I can do that on my days off because that is when I'm just a mom.
Tonight we put off our planned outdoor Christmas Jingle Bus activity because Hughie has a little cold. I want it getting better before it gets worse. Maybe we'll venture out tomorrow. I didn't tell Eli anything about it because if you are just a mom you know that letting the littles in on the plans only makes it harder to change them.
Tonight Bailee seemed nervous and scared. She sat by me with her little warm body touching my leg. I have no idea what was making her skittish-but I'm also just her mom so I let her cuddle.
Today I got an email from someone in my life (I wish to keep anonymous) and it was just the medicine I needed. I read it on the I-pad, propped it up on Andy's pillow and laid in bed STARING at the message while I waited for the boys to fall asleep and finally be quiet.
" Every day something happens with my kids that frustrates me and then I think of you and what a strong woman you are. I don't want to be the same mother as you but I try every day to be as tough as you. It's hard work we have. Thanks for being someone I can look up to and ask for advise. Sorry these last two days have been so hard but you will get through and somehow you seem to always learn from your experiences. Hang in there. Hope Hugh gets better soon and Eli's phase ends soon too".
This e-mail was perfect in the moment. It still is at 7:30 pm when the littles are deep in slumber and once again quiet. It reminds me of one thing. I need to change the way I word things.
Take out the word JUST.
I'm a mom.
Hardest job on the planet.
And I'm doing it!
1 comment:
Definitely take out that word just. You are a mom and that message you got is so special and so true. I am sorry I was distracted by Henry today and yesterday. I know you have had some tough moments. Hang in there. It is the rough days where you feel like just a mom dang it that make you appreciate the "I'm a mom and these are my kiddos and I can't believe this is my life" moments. Enjoy your glass of wine. Laptop, cuddly pooch, quiet evening, and start fresh tomorrow. Lets FaceTime tomorrow evening if your Saturday is as exciting as mine of course. Haha
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