Most Days

Most days I'm extremely thankful for train tracks.  These give my son so much pure joy.

Today isn't just most days...but I'm still thankful for those tracks. 

I'm also thankful for family that plan holiday celebrations on different days so that baby bean (and I) get to eat twice.

I'm also thankful for the last jar of my sister's homemade strawberry jam in our freezer that we got out for our breakfast.

Overall I'm thankful that my husband and I have jobs that affords us gas in our car, pays for our insurance, allows me to stay warm in clothes and shoes, with running water, entertainment, books, music and gluten free foods.

Our baby room is very slowly coming together.  I pulled out some baby clothes and all the onesies and jammies are sitting on the floor in the to-be-baby room.  We found our lil doggie sitting right in the middle of all the chaos.  Love that dog. I'm thankful that she makes herself at home and that she is snuggling in.

I'm not able to go out shopping on "Black Friday" but I'm thankful for all those who do go out and get the deals they were hoping for.  I love all the excitement people share about something that would stress me out! 

I'm thankful that Eli is old enough to let Bailee out to the back yard and can let her back in so I can keep my pregnant butt on the couch when she is barking. 

I'm thankful for a hands on husband and father to Eli.  He is SO helpful and I appreciate it every single day of my life.  I really won the lottery with him.

I'm thankful for those Green Bay Packers.

I'm thankful someone at a "sober house" will get good use out of an item from our house that we sold on Craig's List.  That money will go towards a new pair of winter boots that I can pull on easily around my big, growing belly.

This year I'm thankful for Amazon.com.  On-line shopping is more satisfying than I thought it would be-I really enjoy coming home and opening the boxes.  It's also relieving some of my stress of shopping till dropping.  Don't get me wrong-I'll still get that spirit and get out there for more hands on shopping. 

I'm thankful for these last 15 minutes so I could blog. 

Look who found his way to snuggle land!
And I'm thankful for a LOT more...but right now I'm thankful that I'm out of time-because that means I have a family who needs me, and without that-I wouldn't feel as blessed as I am.

Heart Warming

Tonight when I got home after working 10 hours Eli was in his prime.  Eli's prime is anywhere between 4 pm-7 pm.  I think my mom calls it "the witching hour".  No matter what you do-he is a terror.  It saddens me that the majority of my time with him during the week is spent triaging all the fits he decides to throw.

If there isn't an "activity" he wants one of us on the floor playing with him.  But he isn't a good listener these days.  It usually takes a lot of repeating and patience.  I don't always have both at the same time after a long day of dealing with needy people.  I try, oh how I try. 

Tonight wasn't a successful night.  I don't think Andy or I lost our cool but both had to do a lot of "parenting" meaning reminding, talking to, positively suggesting the right thing for Eli to do.  He cried over any little thing.  And I mean the type of crying with big, real tears and hard to catch your breath type of crying.  Sometimes that makes me want to giggle because it's so cute and I KNOW nothing is really wrong. Other times I want to cry because I just want our few hours together to be joyous and happy.  It's just that time of the day.  But then he wouldn't eat any of his dinner and just yelled and banged his fork the whole time.  It's distracting for Andy and I. We couldn't even talk to each other and couldn't get him to change his behavior.  After Andy read him his books and we laid him down, he cried for at least 45 minutes. I was secretly happy because I wanted a chance to go up and cuddle him.  I felt terrible that our whole evening was rough.  I wonder what burden he was carrying-was he hungry, upset stomach, ear ache, argument with friend (Zachary) at Debbie's or just plain tired?  So Andy told me I could go up and rock him.  (We always try to agree on what to do in these situations so we don't start any bad habits.)

While I rocked Eli on my lap I said to him "You know mom and dad love you, right?".  I just wanted him to know it.  I wanted him to be reminded.  I wanted the day to end on a positive note-more so for me than for him.  He said "Yes, and Bailee loves me too".  I said "Yes Bailee loves you too."  Then he said "And Henry loves me too".  Awww....cousin Henry you hold such a HIGH, SPECIAL spot in lil Eli's heart.  It was so heart warming to me.  I said "yes Henry loves you too".  He never even picked up his head from my shoulder. 

The next thing he said was "Grandma Barb went trick or treating?" and I giggled and said "yes" and he said "Kay".  No more peeps out of him.  Good night sweet boy-get some GOOD rest. We'll try again tomorrow.

Long Drive Home

I had a terrible, horrible, no good-very bad day today.  Ok so it wasn't that bad.  But I just couldn't wait to get out of there.  I worked ten hours and was ready to flop down on the couch, floor, bed, dark quiet closet-wherever.  As I walked out of the front door of the hospital that I work at into the large circle driveway I noticed a few white Christmas lights that were on as it was already getting quite dark.  It put me in the spirit.  I was heading home for the day!  I was going to see my 2 favorite boys. I needed an attitude adjustment before I saw them.  I was bound and determined to be a glorious wife and peaceful, patient mother.

The circle drive was jam packed with cars, transport vehicles and people in wheelchairs getting the heck out of dodge (aka being discharged from the hospital). As I rounded the corner I heard some loud and continuous honking on the horn.  The gal in front of me and myself both turned (we were safely on the sidewalk but the noise was blaring) to look at what was going on.  It appeared that a large white transport van had cut off a silver compact car in the circle.  The driver of the transport van opened his car door while blocking the way to shout at the little car.  The little car (maybe the window was down) yelled "you didn't see me!".  I couldn't understand all the yelling except the little car was yelling at the top of her lungs "GO GO GO GO GO" meanwhile the white transport van (who may very well be carrying Nana or grandpa who is weak but excited to go home) continued to keep the door open and yell right back very loudly.  It didn't stop there. He started to drive away with the door open while yelling.  Finally he closed the door but was swinging his arms wildly in the air while shaking his head and probably shouting obscenities that recovering grandpa had never heard before. 

Merry Christmas to you White Van and Small Silver Car.  Who knows which one was right or wrong.  Neither of them cared if it was an accident.

I sort of laughed to myself with the other gal, because it was quite the scene and seemed ridiculous.... but then I said a small, short prayer that they would both forget about it and not carry this rage with them on the road.  I hope neither of them pulled out their cell phone to tell their best friend about it.  I prayed for a safe trip home myself and thought about how much damage a small car accident can cause-even if not traumatic.
It made me think of a book I recently read called "Long Drive Home" written by Will Allison. 

I read the book in 2 sittings, taking me a total of 3 hours.  It was a quick, easy read but it had a big impact on me.  It was not an enlightening book. I don't know that the author used any witty language and it wasn't an amazing story line.  But the concept behind it hit me.  Maybe because I work in a Level 1 Trauma Center and I've seen the effects of car accidents-young and old.  I cringe when I hear or see the Flight For Life going out and coming in.

 If you didn't read my recent post about wearing a "Sign" you should read that post-then read this book.  The storyline without ruining the book:  A dad is driving his daughter home from school and gets in a car accident with her in the back seat. They are ok but the driver in the other car is not.  Was it the dad's fault? The other drivers fault? What about the chain of events that led up to the accident?  What did the little girl all see?  How does the wife handle how the dad handles the aftermath?

One or two small events can have life changing effects.  Driving is a dangerous thing.  How often do you swear at other drivers?  I don't usually but Andy does- I tell him not to because people can read lips and get mad.  Sometimes I'll comment on how slow someone is driving, but I much prefer to work with slower drivers than people who seem in a hurry. People who scoot up so close behind me make me nervous.  I wonder where they are trying to go and if they are annoyed with me.  Are they annoyed enough to try to pass me illegally waving their middle finger at me?  What about the people who pull up to the 4 way stop and go when it's not their turn.  Are you annoyed?  Do you ever forget to use your blinker? Do you slow down when someone is trailing you faster?  Do you yell at them when they pass you?  I hope we can all avoid being the person in the hurry or the person getting mad-after reading this story I know how important it is to stay alert and follow traffic rules. 

I try to tell myself they are in a hurry because if they are a minute late for their job they will lose it or that they just found out their mother is in the hospital.  Not a reason to drive reckless, but much better in my heart than if they are just annoyed with the slow mom driver ahead of them.
Maybe they are excited to get home and tell their husband they are pregnant with twins after trying for 3 years to have a baby.  Maybe they got a call that their little one is having an allergic reaction or an asthma attack.  Maybe they are in labor!  Maybe they are hypoglycemic.  Maybe maybe maybe.  On the other hand-maybe they are just angry with their day.  Maybe they are in need of a cigarette or a beer or are on drugs. Maybe they are texting and not paying attention.  Maybe they overslept. Maybe they just can't stand slow drivers.
Either way, this book opened my eyes to thinking things through before getting angry at that other driver. It's not worth it.  It WON'T make you feel better to peel past them or shout at them.  It really won't.  Whether or not they are in the wrong and you are "the nice guy", it doesn't pay to take any type of action.  Keep yourself calm and take an extra moment to stay in control. 
Do it for yourself, your family or the little child that you can't see in the backseat of the other car.

First Steps

Tonight we made the first move towards really creating a nursery in our spare room. I'm excited. I've got that nestin' feeling!
Another friend who is pregnant told me they had already painted their next nursery and she is due shortly after me.  So that told me we needed to get our butts in gear.

I wanted to take a before and after shot of the nursery but so far I am just not that good.  I will take a shot before we make it baby-ish, because right now we are just in the process of moving out electronics (the computer to the basement!) and tomorrow the treadmill to the basement.  It's going to take a whole lot of motivation to get on that treadmill now that it's down in the basement but there just is no where else for it. 

I just want to gush for a minute.  Andy doesn't get enough credit on my blog. I could fill post after post about how lucky I am. How I married the right man for me.  That I couldn't be happier with him.  That he is funny, smart, helpful, thoughtful, quiet, fun, athletic, a dad, a friend, a companion, a husband etc etc etc.  I can't believe that I told him "ok let's move the computer" about 20 minutes ago and I didn't get a complaint. It went SO smooth.  I unplugged it. He dusted it all. He carried it down. I plugged it all back in and I'm quickly blogging.  No arguments. It worked on the first try (all of it! The mouse, the keyboard, the speakers, sub-woofer and printer!).  If we can stay sane while we put this nursery together, these next 3 months will slide and glide right by.

Hello baby!!!!!!!!  We're getting ready for you. Step by step.  I can't wait to introduce you to this whole house we've made a home.  I know you'll fit RIGHT in.

Tooters

Here it is...a normal Sunday afternoon at our house.

I wanted to record Eli in "action"-just doing whatever it is that he does all day.
Take note:
1. The house is a disaster. Yes, we do clean it up at night before we go to bed, why? So we can leave the house in the am without the yuck-feeling you have when the floor is scattered with 10 different types of toys.  But yes, our house looks this cluttered and kid-zonish at some point every day.
2. Yes, that is Andy on the couch next to me, those are his knees and his hand glued to the remote. I made him mute the football game so we could hear Eli.
3. I need 30% of Eli's energy. I think it would be a great balance if he gave me some of his-so that we could jump across the living room together.
4. Listen reallllly  carefully around the  1 min 47  second mark. I am not even sure what to compare this sound to-but just for the record-it came from Eli.  I would not normally post something so immature, gross or dumb. But it makes me laugh and I need every belly laugh I can get. It's for the baby really-I think I read that a good belly laugh will increase the chance of the baby being a great sleeper. 

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

By Request

My view of my feet.  Oh that's right-you can't even see my feet.  The big gray blob is my belly!
I'm 26, almost 27 weeks along. I'm scared to be able to say I only have 13 weeks to go.  Who knows? I could go 2 weeks early and I could have just 11 short weeks to go. (another scary thought is that Christmas is so close even though it's not even Thanksgiving). 
The baby has hiccups a lot. 

Of note, Andy says I'm not round and I wasn't round last time either.  Instead it looks like I have a football in my belly-pointy side poking out.
My belly button is half way out when I'm standing up straight.
I'm losing my small chest-meaning my belly is poking out far enough that my belly doesn't create a shelf-but a slope.
We are just getting started on the baby room.  We have a lot to do and I'm afraid with the holidays coming everything will sort of just get away from me. 
Names? We're looking for ideas please...
Grow baby grow!

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."


~Plato



Recently I read this post on a blog I loosely follow.  Read it. 
Ok are you back?
I occasionally know of a friend who has shared something with me and should be wearing a sign, but instead they put on such a good front.  Sometimes I can only guess that someone should be wearing the sign.   The sign indicating "be gentle with me. somethings going on in my life". 
 
Sometimes it's me who needs to wear the sign.  
 
Ok on to your next reading assignment.  Within that blog post that I linked above, is another one that I actually took the time to read.  Maybe because I was silently wearing a sign that said "Be easy on me today" I knew I really needed to read this other link.  Check it out here.
The story touched me.   
At work patients tell me many, many gruesome details about the struggles they go through.  It is weird how many patients who struggle with their health also need someone to just listen to them open up about other battles going on.  And it may be the littlest thing that they need to vent about.  Sometimes it isn't even the life threatening disease they are dealing with, but the smaller issues that should be solved easily that they want to discuss.    I always do my best to demonstrate empathy and sympathy.  And I hope that they know that I am listening and taking it all in. 
But some days when I have my own garbage going on inside, I want to pull out the sign.  I want it to say "I'm listening. I care. I do.  Now can I tell you what's going on with me?".  It can be a real struggle.  
 
Lately I've been trying to remember that strangers that I don't even have direct contact with are wearing these signs. Going into the holidays and the hustle and bustle, I need to constantly keep reminding myself that others may have their hearts somewhere else while attempting to accomplish something that isn't going easy for them.  Other drivers may be in a hurry because of a real emergency-not because they are just jerks.  Waiting in line may be difficult for many because it is their only chance to stand in line to return an item and they've been on their feet all day.  Someone may have gotten laid off at work.  Others may have found out something about their health.  Maybe they got in reprimanded at work for something they didn' t do.  Maybe they are struggling with relationship issues.  It may not be the same issue that would cause distress for you or me, but it is affecting them.
 
So if you skipped the links above and didn't truly read them-reconsider. It might help remind you not to get annoyed, frustrated or angry with someone.  I know it's one of my goals to remember that EVERYONE is fighting a hard battle.  A different battle than mine or yours. But a battle.