Remember 5 years ago when Eli was born? Oh my goodness all the turmoil around his health that turned out to be just fine. Regardless, he spent some days in the baby ICU and me, the new mom, frantic about how my dreams of the first few days were down the drain. I spent many hours in the "pumping room" where new moms could go to pump since they couldn't actually attempt the whole nursing thing. I never said hi or talked to any other mom's in that room. But next to each pumping chair was a community journal. A place for mom's to pour their heart out. A space for emotions, words, dreams, hopes and disappointments to be placed. And every day I read those words and even scribbled down a few of my own. An experience no mom should ever have to go through, but they do. Because Eli's medical issues were such a mystery I wasn't sure where to be. I didn't know if I should have full hope or be scared out of my wits. and it meant more to me to read the words of experience from "We are getting discharged from ICU Room 3 tomorrow!" to "The scan showed things are worse. I'll keep pumping just in case. I need faith". You are never alone in the world of motherhood. And Eli...he was a soldier and survived and thrived.
And here I sit today. Wishing for a different journal next to my bed this time, with words of wisdom, hope, experience and validation from other mom's, that when your first born turns 5 the air is sucked out of your lungs and you feel scared. But proud. Nervous but excited. And mostly disbelief...that time really IS going fast.
This kid is amazing.
He's a smart cookie.
Bug loving.
Apple crunching. Candy munching machine.
He's starting to build his imagination. Wants to one-up his little brother. But always wondering where he is.
He has no fear. He will try almost anything. He still is small and still repeats a lot. Still struggles at bedtime but knows his place.
He adores his cousins. BIG time. Calls them his best friends. But now is starting to have a best bud in Connor-buddy too. And it's darn special.
He says the most hilarious things.
He's very intense. Wonders HARD about stuff. He can read, ride a bike without training wheels and jump into the deep end.
Why isn't there a word stronger than "love" when describing how you feel about your kids??
